i need you.

I had a gentle voice awaken me from sleep the other day, the kind of sleeping your soul does after you've been wrecked by unexpected news. The kind of sleeping you find yourself in, that denial, because you're scared to death that you'll wake up and have to acknowledge what is happening around you. 

and it made me think. 

so the gentle voice asked, do you ever wish you didn't have to teach the last level of classes, because it's always a year of bittersweet moments, seems like you are saying hello to then just say goodbye?

and so i sat there and almost without hesitation I responded, I wouldn't have it any other way. I actually couldn't bear the thought of not teaching the last level of English. Sure, it's one year and then goodbyes creep upon you at the end of May and you're paralyzed, because the relationships you've seen bloom before your eyes start to dim with the thought of graduation. 

But I told the gentle voice that I loved teaching the final year, because I get to see my students' hearts get transparent as they think about packing up their bags and leaving NOE behind, I see them tendered toward the idea that maybe God brought them to NOE not to merely learn English, but that He brought them to NOE to know Him. 

And that is why I'm here. It doesn't matter how well my students speak English, nor does it matter that they may walk out of my classroom never to utter another word of English. What does matter, is that they leave my classroom absolutely sure of one thing, God loves them. That my dear hearts, is exactly why I'm here. 

It's difficult to teach the last year, but it's so beautifully worth it. I'll tell you why...Friday I had sixteen students show up on our day off of classes to start studying for their final. They spent an hour and a half with me reviewing, laughing and loving and lost track of time. 

I had students raising their sweet, innocent hands telling me that they would be waiting for me tomorrow at NOE to go to church. 

I had students walk up to me that started off the year painfully shy and tell me they loved me before they left. 

I'll be honest it is excruciatingly painful to think about leaving. It's heart-wrenching, because I'm absolutely sure this isn't something that I'll leave and get over. NOE has changed me when I thought change was impossible. 

When I first came here I was getting over heartbreak, I was shy and I didn't know a single soul...but now I'm about to leave again and the heartbreak is from leaving, it's not something that I will get over, the shyness still has its moments, but I'm able to hold my head up high in my classroom and the fear of speaking fades, and the not knowing a single soul? That my sweet readers  has changed, too. I'm the teacher of 90 and if we are honest, I have a heart that is built for all 700 of our students. I may not know every name, but every single student here means the absolute world to me. 

And so, I'm here. We are about to be on the other side of my third school year at NOE and I'm going to be absolutely honest. My support has drastically fallen and I'm getting ready to pack up, go home and work the summer away to get back here as soon as I can. 

I could use your help:
You can help me brainstorm and come up with fundraising ideas.
You can help me by praying for me and the transition that will come too soon and be praying for my students that are starting to worry about their final exam and graduating. 
You can join my team of financial supporters by following this link, but be sure to look for the box that says MAIN: give here
You can even help me by sharing this little blog or others of mine via social media!

I'm hoping that you see my heart in these words, because my love for NOE isn't something that is fleeting. My passion for Morelia, Mexico isn't something that can be ignored. Thus, I'm going home to do my part in all of this, but I need a team of you to stand up with me. Because after 26 years of living, I'm finally seeing that it's okay to need people. And I truly need you...