Wednesday, February 13, 2013

You are Enough

Do you know how loved you are?
Do you know how known you are?

I wonder what lies could be conquered if we raised a white flag of surrender with our feeble hands
I wonder what battles could be won, if we just chose to stand

We could shake the dust of loneliness from our hearts 
We could deny a place for depression before it starts...

We could rise, 
walk up, 
and out of our sighs

Little heart, this life is yours to overcome, 
this race is yours to run

But unclench those fists, and don't resist-
you were made to walk in truth, 
you were known, before you even came into your youth. 

Wake up, from your sleep, 
denounce that the climb towards hope is too steep

Stop striving, 
stop hiding, 

w a l k i n l o v e

You are more than enough...
Yes, you are more than enough...

You are not your sin, 
you are not what you've been

Your heart was made to beat to its own drum
You child, are a sum...
a sum of your Maker's love, 

hand-stictched and woven to His liking, 
You, sweet child, are enough. 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Let Your Heart Restart

"When we fail to choose to live our lives fully awake, the ashes will extinguish the beauty, 
the mourning will smother the joy, and the despair will end our praise. 
When we sleep to the dreams inside our hearts, 
the message of love will become nothing more than a nice idea. 
Yet when we awaken to the dreams God has placed inside of us, 
our lives become the beauty, magic and wonder that the world needs."
Joel N. Clark

Do you ever have moments when your heart just needs to restart for the day?

Those terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days. 

Times that just take the very life out of you. 

I think you might. 

If you're like me, you hold the theory of getting back under the covers, with no resolve to finish the day that you started. 

But the truth is: there is grace for even these moments. 

There is grace for us at our weakest.  

We can rise up and be resilient, we can find good in the not-so good. 
And all because, God is gracious, loving, and most importantly God is constant. 

God is our reason. 

He's our reason to keep fighting. 
He's our reason to keep our hearts beating, in dire search of its purpose. 

Yes, He's our reason. 

And sure, on these days, something has got to give. 

But that's not you, dear. It's not time to give up. 

It's time to give in, give it over, and release it all to Him. 

That's right; God will welcome your frustrations. 

He'll take your sadness. 
He'll take your depression. 

He'll hold out his arms, to wrap you in truth. And he. Won’t. Let. Go. 

Sure there are people in your life that walk away on your bad days, leave your heart stranded in the middle of nowhere, but God is constant. He. Waits. For. You. 

Sweet, child, He waits for you. 

To. Come. Home. 

To rise from the covers, open your swollen eyes a little wider, 
just so you can see that's He's never left you. 

You don't have to pretend that all is right with your world, dear. 

You don't have to be someone you're not. 

He takes you as you are. 

He takes all of you. 

Even you, that wants to give up on the terrible, horrible, no-good very bad days. 
Even you, that at times, let's depression back in to shadow the truth. 

He takes all of you. 
He loves all of you. 

I pray that if your heart needs a restart like mine did today, that you'll just take a moment and breathe. 

There's grace for your weakness, dear soul, and nobody is asking you to glaze over your pain, the bad days with fake, meaningless perfection. 

Days aren't perfect and neither are you, but YOU ARE WORTHY. 

You're worthy to rise up from beneath the covers and overcome the little lies that tempt you without warning. 

Oh dear heart, You. Are. So. Worthy. 

so don't hide underneath the covers again, dear,
just give it all over to Him, and He'll enter in, I promise.

Monday, February 4, 2013

This. Is. Not. The. End.

You know those questions that cause a domino effect in your soul when they are asked; I was asked one of those the other day. 

This simple question caused my breath to catch in my throat and my heart to flutter with its fireflies a bit faster. 

What has Overcome the Lie meant to me?

You see, loves, I have been lost in transition and translation, lately. 

The world I know isn't the one I have been living in. 

My familiar is waking to the city of a million, fresh orange juice being squeezed just down the street on my walk to work, it's the combis running to and fro throughout my city, it's the realization that my heart is where it was always supposed to be- in Mexico. 

But since July, I have been settling back into Indiana, trying to make it home again. I've been pouring my 25 years into two jobs, seven days a week. I've been in constant motion every single day. 

To the point, of just wanting some extra sleep to hold me over, of relishing the twenty + hour weekends, because at least I'm only present at one job, instead of many. 

I've been lost in transition, because friends that convinced me our friendship was forever have become mothers and wives, or just have moved along with someone holding their once empty hands. 

And I'm here. 

Broken promises. 

Lost friendships. 

But even if they were here and very much present, would my heart have the time to be filled by them?
That's a question I have to ask myself, 

but this beautiful campaign has awakened my soul to friendships, built to thrive on distance. 

It's given me hope. 

I've been able to wake up and get through my days, because of the promised sisterhood I have received through limited characters. 

I've been able to pour myself into hearts and be poured into, in return. 

Because if you think about it: you spend this life emptying yourself, yes, 
but at some point you need truth to fill you up. 

You empty yourself to be filled again. 

Your spirit needs people. 
It needs to be filled. 

And no book, movie, music will ever fill up the space God reserved for community when he made you.  That's just impossible. 

You can try to fill yourself with things, but those things rust, they mold, they die. 

But you, darling girl, your people live on...
and in the shelter of them, you live. 

That's what this has meant to me. 

I have spent most of these months in reverse culture shock, hiding away from settling in or pursuing all of this with new eyes, because I've been afraid. 

I held onto the lie that this is all there is for me. 

But I am meant to be where I am, for such a time as this. 

And that doesn't mean that my soul is singing my Indiana home. 

However, it does mean that my heart is resting on the reason, that I'm needed here. 

All the while, rejoicing because this is not the end. 

No. This. Is. Not. The. End. 

My God isn't finished with me. 

I have sisters all over the country, speaking life into my soul. 

And these things are what are keeping me moving. 

So if you are also lost in transition and translation, or are clinging to the lies...
just know, 

that. you. are. not. alone. 
this. is. not. the. end.

If you need truth or somebody, I'm here. 
We can walk together, love. 
We can overcome the lies together. 

This is not the end
This is not the end of this
We will open our eyes wide, wider

This is not our last
This is not our last breath
We will open our mouths wide, wider

And you know you'll be alright
Oh and you know you'll be alright

This is not the end
This is not the end of us
We will shine like stars bright, brighter

-Gungor, "This Is Not The End"

Friday, February 1, 2013

To my little overcomer:

Dear Darling Girl,

I've watched you for a number of years avoid wrestling with your fears, and of mirrors, steering clear. 

I've seen those moments when boys have ripped out your heart and trampled your vulnerability, leaving you out on the streets, alone and trembling. 

Those times when you've clung to your depression and loneliness, when you've sat with them and given them your hands to hold. Those moments when you couldn't utter a word, you couldn't be bold. 

I've seen you brokenly long to stay beneath the covers, instead of facing another day. 
I've heard your whimpers of prayers, when you haven't known what to say. 

But I've seen you rise, ever still. 

I've seen you overcome. 

You have walked out of your heartache, you've asked me to enter in. 

You have risen from beneath the covers; you are not where you've been. 

Daughter, I see your whole life. I don't define you by your best and worst moments. 
Stop believing the lie that you're spent. 

I claim your victories, your scars, and your wounds. 
I claim you. 

I revel the times that you chose to run back, the times when you realized you are not what you lack. 

Little girl, my arms are open wide, please don't hide. 

I know you feel like a lost cause and all love is lost, 
but look back at all that you've overcome. 

Remember those moments when you stood tall for your heart's cause, when you denied that love was lost, when you released depression and loneliness from your clenched fingers, when you let my love enter in it all and linger. 

You are a fighter. You are a survivor. 

You are not a victim of your ugly past; my love for you, of all this, outlasts. 

Hold your head high, live with that beautiful mended heart on your sleeve, 
seeing that victory is what is always been meant to be. . . 

"For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, 
for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, 
til her righteousness shines out like the dawn [until you shimmer], 
her salvation like a blazing torch. 
The nations will see your righteousness, 
and all kings your glory [your beauty];
you will be called by a new name
that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. 
You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand [the crown of creation], 
a royal diadem in the hand of your God. 
No longer will they call you Deserted, 
or name your land Desolate. 
But you will be called Hephzibah [my delight is in her], 
and your land Beulah [married];
for the Lord will take delight in you, 
and your land will be married. 
As a young man marries a maiden [he pursues her, romances her] . . . 
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride [you are lovely], 
so will your God rejoice over you." 

(Isaiah 62:1-5, emphasis taken from Captivating)