"After all my job is to believe without wavering.
His job is everything else."
I think of the wearied sun-beaten mothers speaking truth over my soul and heart with their singing Spanish.
I think of the children, their chocolate-candied eyes brimming over with glee, screaming my name at the top of their lungs.
I think of the blazing sun, leaving imprints on my porcelain skin during the walk to the center, the one that stole my unassuming heart by surprise.
Yes, Mexico, you've had my heart since I was fifteen.
My waking, sleeping and dreaming moments have all been spent with you in mind.
Pictures of you are plastered on the walls of my room and my soul, stowed to be forever kept.
The children that latched themselves to my side, forgiving my four-word vocabulary.
The little ones that we tried to feed, but instantly ran off to feed the twelve others tending to home.
The mothers and the fathers, whose stomachs were always empty, but hearts always full.
The students that taught me more than I could ever teach them.
I think of these and those.
My heart can't resist the pull, the tug- to leave.
It beats for the city of a million, and the always-loud streets.
My heart beats for students to rise up and out of their circumstances, but not just that- it beats for them to feel drawn to MORE. That they'd feel drawn to the quiet voice of their Maker calling them home, to wave the white flag of surrender and to come as they are.
And so, I'm left believing that support will come, that it's coming.
I'm believing that I will go, that I am going.
Every last thing that I need will be given in His sweet, perfect time.
Every last penny, every last dime.
I picture the future with a bright colored house and revolving doors.
Always having enough, never wanting more.
I see the chocolate-candied eyes at home
without a need or a want to run away, to roam.
And I'll be loving, holding nothing back,
I'll be all things, and not what I lack.
My hands will hold more than one,
my heart will be full, my spirit sweetly broken and soul, undone.
I'll be where, I'm needed.
The call, will be heeded.