"As for me, I never lived, I was half dead, I was a rotting tree, until I reached the place where I wholly, with utter honesty, resolved and then re-resolved that I would find God's will, and I would do that will though every fiber in me said no, and I would win the battle in my thoughts. It was as though some deep artesian well had been struck in my soul. . . . Money, praise, poverty, opposition- these make no difference, for they will be alike forgotten in a thousand years, but this spirit which comes to a mind set upon a continuous surrender, this spirit is a timeless life." Frank Laubach
"We should be determined that as best we can, we will be responsive to God's leadings." Ortberg
I have been wrecked by lies lately- quite fitting, because I find myself being welcomed into a sisterhood, a campaign to overcome the lies.
I had one of those moments that shake the life out of you the other day. I had to gasp to catch a breath between my sobs, because lies were being spoken over me. The world I knew was being rocked and I just didn't know where on Earth I went wrong.
You see I was just trying to be love more than usual. I was just taking a mere part in the life God had set me apart for, but all of my actions, every last one was being questioned.
I sat there and I caved. I tried to defend myself, but then sat there cowering, defenseless.
I was paralyzed to the very core.
The pieces I had been trying to hold together for fear of shattering, with endless 50+ hour workweeks came unglued.
I broke. My heart split into two.
I wanted to run and hide, stow myself away from onlookers. I wanted to give up.
And mind you, God had been convicting me about my placement there for quite some time.
I felt the need to the very depths of my heart to be in this place, but I didn't see the possibility any longer.
It was too much.
Too much work.
Too much sadness.
I couldn't bear the burden.
I couldn't hold myself together.
But God wasn't done.
He took me aside and loved on me through people that would decry ever being used by Him.
They spoke life over me and blatantly refused the lies on my behalf.
They gently whispered that I was capable. They told me I could overcome.
They told me I could fight back with resilience.
They were His voices.
And with them, I realized that these are the lies I am meant to overcome. The Enemy would love to see me runaway from a place that I'm needed. But I cannot let him have that satisfaction, because truthfully my battles have already been won.
I have a God who fought for me, and continues to fight for me.
A God that needs me in this place, for such a time as this, and He isn't finished with me yet.
I shouldn't close this door just because of lies. I will overcome.
Wherever you are, dear, God's got a hold on you. I know it may seem so far from the truth, but His love is so delicate and persistent and His love seeks you out. He believes in you.
It's easy to run, sure, it is.
But love if you remain a runner, you'll deny yourself of so much beauty.
So walk on and into the journey, you've been set apart to fulfill, no one can take your place.