Thursday, November 19, 2015

a little late, but this is for Lamar & you, too:

Where do we find meaning when life steals the very breath out of us?
Where do we find meaning when our dreams become something fleeting?
Where do we find meaning when the ones we love cannot be reached?
Where do we find meaning when life feels absolutely meaningless, left destroyed by pain and overcome with heartache?

It's not in the hands of a love. It's not underneath the covers.
It's not succumbing to invisibility. And it definitely is not in giving up.

We look about every which way and we search, we search for meaning amidst the meaningless.

It's a desperate search when our eyes fall upon everyone and every last thing, but Him.

Our hands might be fragile and empty and our arms might be tired of carrying the weight.

It might be so.

But life will forever remain meaningless, if we seek to find our meaning in someone, somewhere else.

I'm done with trying to make sense of brokenness. I'm done with trying to gently place a pile of bandaids on a gaping wound. I'm done with telling myself and everyone else that we have to be okay.

Let's be done.

Let's stop becoming convinced that we have to have all this together, that our lives have to be a painted picture of perfection because, last time I checked we hear more stories of the famous untouchables, being just like us.

The ones we assume that have life all together and money in the bank are the ones being found by their loves broken, hiding underneath the covers.

They are not untouched by pain. No not even them, they are not untouched by pain.

And yet, we criticize them for caving in under the pressure.

But just like you and I, life to them feels meaningless at times, and meaning is sought to be a material, someone, or somewhere else.

I cave.
You cave.
They cave.
We all cave.

It's heartbreaking to think that we convince ourselves that the broken need to man up and become stronger, because we have no idea what their battlefield looks like; we have no idea that they might be contemplating an easier way of surrender, a way out.

That famous untouchable is someone's son or daughter, father or mother, best friend or lover. And their life is being tossed aside by open criticism; their life is being taken too soon by depression.

No one is untouched by pain.
No, there is not one.