small beginnings.

“Don’t despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin,”

Zechariah 4:10.

So if I have learned anything in the past nine days living here in Vicente Guerrero, Baja California, Mexico. . . It would be that God always shows up.

He shows up even in the places, where I think surely He isn’t, or even when doubts seep in and invade my heart, telling me that maybe I am not supposed to be here-that maybe I am not capable of everything I had dreamed for this place. See this isn’t some flippant decision to come here, those of you that know me, know that this has been upon my heart for years, years.

I say all this to admit, there was a struggle with this move. I still can’t truly peg the source, and suppose it to be the transition of leaving [the part of this life I have come to know so well] Morelia. I left more of me there, than I had expected.

Truthfully, I am having to relearn the art of being exactly where I am, the art of fully, being present. God in His mercy and goodness, brought me here. The same God that saw me into Morelia, is seeing me into this very place, the Baja.

In the little over week that we’ve been here, we’ve been surrounded and immersed into the lives, many like our own, brought from the States, and taken with the people who know this as home. They’ve advised us, comforted us, protected us, encouraged us-giving us the purest welcome anyone could ever ask for. We’ve learned from their success, their starts, and at times, even their disappointments.

We’ve seen a septic tank overflowing, our car being broken into, and the ideas of two single women begin to come to fruition. I can proudly say in this moment, that I believe, I finally am all here. I had my moments in the beginning; I still miss my students in Morelia, like crazy. Yet, I couldn’t bear to be here for three months, and not allow my heart to live here, fully, utterly and completely. To love, with all of me. To reach out and take hands, to hold the mothers and the children.

The Spanish confidence tends to still lack, but where I am weak, He is incredibly strong. The love for Morelia hasn’t weakened, but I can’t allow it to take hold of me either. God is allowing me to live out my dream here in the Baja, and it has challenges I would never have seen to rise up, but He is allowing me to live out my dream. He is encouraging me through His people, both my roommate Karly, and those that I love that are so faraway. He is encouraging me through His words, “Don’t despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin,” Zechariah 4:10. He is encouraging me through song, Un Viaje Largo, by Marcela Gandara:

A sido largo el viaje pero al fin llegue,
La luz llego a mis ojos aunque lo dude,
Fueron muchos valles de inseguridad,
Los que cruze,
Fueron muchos dias de tanto dudar, pero
Al fin llegue, llegue a entender...

Que para esta hora he llegado,
Para este tiempo naci,
En sus propositos eternos yo me vi,
Para esta hora he llegado,
Aunque me ha costado creer,
Entre sus planes para hoy me encontre.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/marcela_gandara/un_viaje_largo.html ]
Y nunca imagine que dentro de su amor,
Y dentro de sus planes me encotrara yo,
Fueron muchas veces que la timidez,
Me lo impidio,
Fuero muchos dias de tanto dudar,
Pero al fin llegue, y a entender...

Que para esta hora he llegado,
A este tiempo naci,
En sus propositos eternos yo me vi,
Para esta hora he llegado,
Aunque me ha costado creer,
Entre sus planes para hoy me encontre.

Que para esta hora he llegado,
A este tiempo naci,
En sus propositos eternos yo me vi,
Para esta hora he llegado,
Aunque me ha costado creer,
Entre sus planes para hoy me encontre.

Ah sido largo el viaje pero al fin llegue.

I look back at the many places He has taken me, the many homes I have come to know globally, and locally. The people I have come to know as a family. I’m amazed. He’s given me the life of a vagabond, a life this girl years ago, would have never dared to dream. Years ago, speaking was a task that was done barely above a whisper, in my native language. And here He has brought me to a foreign country for the second time, in just a matter of weeks, and I am placed here to attempt to speak an altogether different language. What a feat, that He has brought me through. What works that He has done, and yet to do. I’m just a girl, that was called to so much more. A girl that has seen goodbyes become frequent, not saying that they’ve ever become easier. Although a girl, with a heart big enough to hold all of her homes, simultaneously, the distance holding no importance. A girl, who will set out to live fully present, for the days to come.