The
guilt that you cause in others.
That
isn’t love, friends. That is just a cheap shot.
It
leaves people questioning if you are for them…
Guilt
doesn’t even come from love.
Guilt
is a coward.
If you
really love someone you aren’t going to respond by harboring guilt.
Because
guilt says that your loves, that they aren’t enough.
But who
are we to get the final word over someone else’s life?
Who are
we to say if they are enough?
People need a break, sometimes, you know.
It’s okay to need a break.
And
instead of giving people a hard time when the only strength they have is to get
back in bed, I want to be the kind of person that says they understand and that
really means it.
I don’t
want to make people feel guilty for not spending all of their time with me.
I
understand that people are not mine to stow away for keeps.
I can’t
hold onto people forever.
They aren’t mine.
People
come and go, just as the seasons.
I
choose to be for them.
I
choose to love them
I
choose to understand them.
And
with these choices, it means, that guilt has no place.
Guilt
has no place.
So the
next time you find yourself questioning why someone has faded away,
the next time you find yourself questioning why your loves have gone silent,
don’t carve a space for guilt.
Don’t
you dare...
You
don’t know the battle that rages inside of them.
You
probably don’t even know the pain that sits at the depths of their soul.
Because
they are the kind of person that doesn’t want to be a burden and here you are,
acting out selfishly, making them feel like their break somehow caused you
pain, when all they wanted to do was shelter you from their burdens. They
didn’t want to cause you any harm.
But
when you carve a place for guilt. You know what that does…it causes the person
you love to want to give in, to give up for good.
Whether
you were jokingly trying to get that person to say that they loved you, that
all was well, that they were going to try harder to be there. It causes pain.
Guilt
causes people to shut up.
Guilt
causes people to lie down.
It
doesn’t get embraced with ease; it’s not a quick fix for relationships.
It’s
actually the contrary.
Guilt
leaves no room for grace.
And
grace, my friends, grace is what keeps us here.
I
sailed the seas of life with guilt for twenty-seven years. I made that choice.
But
now, I refuse to make a home for guilt.
And
now, I realize that love isn’t guilt-causing. Love is redeeming.
And to
the ones that set out to settle down for the long-haul, always reaching for
guilt, I’m going to be quite honest and tell you, I can’t handle guilty love,
anymore.
I’m
fragile and I’m in need of people who are honestly for me.
And if
you aren’t, I’m going to go absent, until I can stand on my own feet and I’m
going to surround myself with truth-speakers and deep lovers. I am going to
look for loves who are promise-keepers and who understand when my heavy heart
needs a break.
Breaks
don’t mean you don’t love your loves, anymore. Breaks mean that as a weak,
fragile human you recognize that you have reached the breaking point and that
there is no turning back.
You
need a break and your true loves will understand, others will fade out of the
picture, but that’s okay. You just need a faithful few to keep you standing,
because with God, it is enough.
With God, there is no guilt, there's only room for grace.
and that is the way it should be, loves, just room for grace.
